If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Want to share your experience of using our Community?
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
Best Of
Re: trump winning?
Without letting myself get too into the weeds, if it's helpful to hear from a slightly older person, I've lived through quite a few big political events where people were really worried (lots of big Tory elections, Brexit, Trump's first term). I'm not saying things won't be bad, but the arc of history is long and this specific political event won't be the end y'all. 💚
To maybe give you some faith in humanity, I was looking at some of the election data.
Trump only got 2 million more votes than when he lost in 2020, but Kamala and the Democrats got over 15 million votes less than Biden got in 2020, which is why Kamala got crushed.
So about the same amount of people voted for Trump in 2024 and 2020 - it was just WAY less Democrat voters showed up, which is what tipped the scale so heavily.
It's okay to feel how you feel about it and maybe have a moment of grief and sadness, and maybe think about what it means for the UK, but take care of yourselves too.
To maybe give you some faith in humanity, I was looking at some of the election data.
Trump only got 2 million more votes than when he lost in 2020, but Kamala and the Democrats got over 15 million votes less than Biden got in 2020, which is why Kamala got crushed.
So about the same amount of people voted for Trump in 2024 and 2020 - it was just WAY less Democrat voters showed up, which is what tipped the scale so heavily.
It's okay to feel how you feel about it and maybe have a moment of grief and sadness, and maybe think about what it means for the UK, but take care of yourselves too.
JustV
3
Re: Finding My Way Forward
Hey there TheNightmare. I'm a moderator here on the discussions boards and my name is Brianna.
It takes a lot to be able to find a job, even the process of looking for one is in of itself a job. It makes a lot of sense to me that with as slow as it's been coupled with the fact that things haven't gone positively so far that you're feeling negative and it also sounds like you're feeling quite discouraged. Having a job is important obviously, but so is your wellbeing so make sure to take breaks from this job searching process and do things that make you smile or something that you at least enjoy. Spending a lot of time and energy on job searching can be draining so it's important to be able to fill your own cup from time to time. You mentioned having a bit of support, what does that look like? Are you finding it helpful?
In terms of you finding a long term relationship, it is a hard process as we're all just humans looking for connection. You sound like you have a very clear idea of what it is you want which is positive and there are dating apps out there that people have found longer-term more serious relationships such as Hinge or even Tinder. I don't know what method will be most effective for you but I can see that you're more than willing to at least try which is brave.
If you're interested in CBT and counselling, there are some links I've included that might help nudge you in the right direction. Here at The Mix we also offer free counselling up to 8 sessions which might be a good way for you start getting the help you need. You can refer yourself to our counselling team here: https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team/the-mix-counselling-service.
Here is a CBT worksheet that you might find helpful: https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-self-help-guides/problem-solving-self-help-guide/
You also mentioned wanting to speak to your GP, here is a website with information that helps you prepare to have those mental health conversations with your GP https://www.docready.org
Struggling to ask for help and take those steps to move forward in your path of healing is so real! But you've already started by making this post, and talking about what's been going on for you. I am definitely rooting for you to get the things you want and need and I hope you keep coming on here to share what's going on with you
It takes a lot to be able to find a job, even the process of looking for one is in of itself a job. It makes a lot of sense to me that with as slow as it's been coupled with the fact that things haven't gone positively so far that you're feeling negative and it also sounds like you're feeling quite discouraged. Having a job is important obviously, but so is your wellbeing so make sure to take breaks from this job searching process and do things that make you smile or something that you at least enjoy. Spending a lot of time and energy on job searching can be draining so it's important to be able to fill your own cup from time to time. You mentioned having a bit of support, what does that look like? Are you finding it helpful?
In terms of you finding a long term relationship, it is a hard process as we're all just humans looking for connection. You sound like you have a very clear idea of what it is you want which is positive and there are dating apps out there that people have found longer-term more serious relationships such as Hinge or even Tinder. I don't know what method will be most effective for you but I can see that you're more than willing to at least try which is brave.
If you're interested in CBT and counselling, there are some links I've included that might help nudge you in the right direction. Here at The Mix we also offer free counselling up to 8 sessions which might be a good way for you start getting the help you need. You can refer yourself to our counselling team here: https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team/the-mix-counselling-service.
Here is a CBT worksheet that you might find helpful: https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-self-help-guides/problem-solving-self-help-guide/
You also mentioned wanting to speak to your GP, here is a website with information that helps you prepare to have those mental health conversations with your GP https://www.docready.org
Struggling to ask for help and take those steps to move forward in your path of healing is so real! But you've already started by making this post, and talking about what's been going on for you. I am definitely rooting for you to get the things you want and need and I hope you keep coming on here to share what's going on with you
briannat
1
Re: I feel unsure about disclosing my neurodiversity on job applications
I literally know exactly how you feel x1000
Yoy decide and it may be you disclose at different stagrx depending on the role. I sometimes right from start on the application form , others before interview or others after.
So true! We are not a tick box !! I got emoloyeed by a place seemed lije yes, supporting at first had a 121 meeting abd plan out in place for start but then afterwards when it cane to a issue or even the tiniest things I was pulled right down, even if I'd already mentioned it. Ie: was 5min late due to disability, needing information, or just easily altered duties " we can't do that, you do what we say" "why you late for " "oh well thst need of yours is a peoblem then"
After a year I left!! I couldn't out up with it and now glad to found somewhere genuinely supportive!! There will be a place. Remember its important your valued abs supported if your not, they're not worth you!!
Yoy decide and it may be you disclose at different stagrx depending on the role. I sometimes right from start on the application form , others before interview or others after.
So true! We are not a tick box !! I got emoloyeed by a place seemed lije yes, supporting at first had a 121 meeting abd plan out in place for start but then afterwards when it cane to a issue or even the tiniest things I was pulled right down, even if I'd already mentioned it. Ie: was 5min late due to disability, needing information, or just easily altered duties " we can't do that, you do what we say" "why you late for " "oh well thst need of yours is a peoblem then"
After a year I left!! I couldn't out up with it and now glad to found somewhere genuinely supportive!! There will be a place. Remember its important your valued abs supported if your not, they're not worth you!!
Re: My journey in reconnecting with my real family
Just echoing @amy22 's words,
It's so nice to hear that despite how scared you were that you pushed yourself and reconnected with your family and it's great to hear that you got support with reaching out to them. We're all super proud of you its so lovely that you're sharing your journey with us here
It's so nice to hear that despite how scared you were that you pushed yourself and reconnected with your family and it's great to hear that you got support with reaching out to them. We're all super proud of you its so lovely that you're sharing your journey with us here
Re: Is it to late for me to make friends?
I know exactly how you feel with friends I struggle to make friends as I have autisum but I started a new club which is grace house about 2 year ago and made friends just by being a youth worker and joining in with youth and go out to the pictures do arts and crafts going to see shows I love it so you never to late to go out their and make new friends and start a club it’s the best thing you make new friends and loads of new places and adventures
Re: When the main reason that makes men think you’re ugly is the ✨fucking weather✨ 🙃
No matter what you look like or say some people are just nasty just be your self don’t let it defeat you your beutiful in your own way
Re: (TW: mentions of rape) I’m terrified for my mums life
so sry to hear this the system is letting the wrong ppl out of prison. from a girl myself i would recommend if your going outside take someone with you also if your going out at night and noone is with you make sure to stay where theres traffic and make sure to stay where theres light bc ppl will be around. if you find yourself in a situation where you feel unsafe pls call 999 or go to a shop or approach someone and explain bc your safety is priority. im here for you 🩷
eylah
2
Re: When the main reason that makes men think you’re ugly is the ✨fucking weather✨ 🙃
everyone is beautiful in their own ways that includes you. by sounds of it those guys are very immature. dont let them put you down bc your beautiful inside and out. 🩷
eylah
1
Re: When the main reason that makes men think you’re ugly is the ✨fucking weather✨ 🙃
Your pretty no matter the lighting or when inside
River
1
Re: (TW: suicidal thoughts, self-loathing) not being able to find love makes me want to kill myself
Wanted to say it's lovely to read this discussion. I can tell those feelings of self-loathing are so intense for you @bignosegirly0 and I think it's cool that you're confronting them.
I agree with everything @Faolan said. It's really positive that you decided to step away from the incel/femcel forums. It would have been easy to stay and to stew in that environment (like so many do), so for what it's worth: well done for choosing to leave those spaces. Finding your way to a community like this one is a step in the right direction.
Have you ever had or considered having therapy? What you're posting about sounds like the kind of thing that a psychotherapist would be good at unpicking with you, particularly as it seems to relate to trauma and some deep rooted childhood stuff.
--
Putting my moderator hat on for a sec, I made a couple of edits to your main post. I added a trigger warning to the title and body of the post, then I wrapped the ranty part in a spoiler just because it's quite intense reading and I didn't want folks just stumbling on it.
I agree with everything @Faolan said. It's really positive that you decided to step away from the incel/femcel forums. It would have been easy to stay and to stew in that environment (like so many do), so for what it's worth: well done for choosing to leave those spaces. Finding your way to a community like this one is a step in the right direction.
Have you ever had or considered having therapy? What you're posting about sounds like the kind of thing that a psychotherapist would be good at unpicking with you, particularly as it seems to relate to trauma and some deep rooted childhood stuff.
--
Putting my moderator hat on for a sec, I made a couple of edits to your main post. I added a trigger warning to the title and body of the post, then I wrapped the ranty part in a spoiler just because it's quite intense reading and I didn't want folks just stumbling on it.
JustV
2